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Wives, Respect your Husbands

Women, as a fellow woman, wife, I implore you to look through these notes and become better wives and Christian women.

The wife is very important to her husband.  She is what makes him whole.  If you do not feel as if you are the half he is missing, then you need to sit back and think of your role as his wife.  To many times I see women attack their husbands and say “it’s my life, and I will do what I want…”  Once you say I do you are no longer living just for yourself.  So get that thought out of your mind.  If you think this way, you are not ready to be married.  We become 1 with our husbands.  Would you leave your left hand home and go out to do something?  You are whole with your husband.  Plus, you will sooner or later find out that doing stuff with him, being with him, makes your marriage work.

Here are the Roles of the wife:

#1: Be a helper to your husband.

Genesis 2:18

New International Version (NIV)
18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

The Bible calls the wife to be the helper of her husband.  We are to be there for their faults, and help them in what they need.  Here is a list from a man of some things a man needs:

  • Self-confidence in his person hood as a man.
  • To be listened to
  • Companionship
  • To be needed

We need to be our husband’s #1 fan.  Do not shoot down your husband!  They are more vulnerable then you think and they will clam up like a child.  My husband is one I must encourage and root for or he will clam up and think it is not important to any one.  We are the ones who can pull our husband’s best foot forward.  Every husband wants his wife to be on his team, to coach him when necessary, but most of all to be his cheerleader. A husband needs a wife who is behind him, believing in him, appreciating him, and cheering him on as he goes out into the world every day.

#2: Respect your husband.

Ephesians 5:33

New International Version (NIV)
33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

As Paul calls for a husband to love us, he also calls on us to respect our husband.  If my husband tells me not to go down a dark ally at two am in the morning, and I do so any ways, am I respecting my husband?  No, I am defying him.  A wife who bad mouths her husband, is she respecting him?  No.  I have seen this, and the outcome is never pretty.  If a man does not feel respected in his own home, is he going to feel needed?  Loved?  A man needs the respect of his wife.  It means valuing his opinion, admiring his wisdom and character, appreciating his commitment to you, and considering his needs and values.

#3: Love your husband

Titus 2:3-4

New International Version (NIV)
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,

The older women are suppose to teach the younger women to love their husbands.  A good description of the kind of love your husband needs is “unconditional acceptance.” In other words, accept your husband just as he is—an imperfect person.

Now, I am not a man.  So I can not tell you what every man needs to feel loved.  However, I went to sites that teach what a man needs/ wants to know he is loved.  They are not all religious sites.

How To Love A Man – 10 Easy Steps For Women – MaleXperience

This one is 2 of the things my husband needs so even though it is written by a woman, it is true:

How to Love a Man : WomanlyWoman.com

There are many others but you get the idea.

Uh oh… here is one that I see many women throw cows over…

#4: “Submit” to the leadership of your husband.

No cows?  Good, lets mover forward.

Colossians 3:18-19

New International Version (NIV)
Instructions for Christian Households
18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Ok, lets rip into this and examine it carefully… no, not literally rip into the Bible!  Being submissive to your husband… what does that mean?  Are we to give up who we are, and be a doormat?  Are we as women to allow our husbands to do what ever they want and just take it?  Um, no.  In verse 19, we see men are suppose to love us, and not be harsh with us.  Now, because of how I am, I like to take a step back, and view different view points.  Lets look at a dog and it’s master.  No, I am not calling any woman a dog.  A dog will love its master unconditionally.  The dog will lick the masters tears away.  (We would use tissues to wipe them away as we give them our shoulder.) A dog will want to be by it’s master’s side always.  (We can watch a movie with our husband, read a book by his side, you get the drift.) A master may slip up and hurt the dog, the dog shows its master it still loves them. (A wife can forgive her husband for his mistakes.) BUT, if a master repetitively kicks or hurts their dog… the dog will run away. (A wife will and should leave, if her husband beats her down and treats her badly.)  Now, how do we view dogs?  A man’s best friend.

Ephesians 5:22-30

New International Version (NIV)
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansingher by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body.

These Scriptures make it clear that a wife should submit voluntarily to her husband’s sensitive and loving leadership. Therefore, as I voluntarily submit to my husband, I am completing him. I am helping him fulfill his responsibilities, and I am helping him become the man, the husband, and the leader God intended him to be.  We are our husband’s missing half.  God made us to be our husband’s helper.

No marriage is perfect, there will be arguments.  There will be misunderstandings.  But, if we follow the Bible, we should find a peacful happy marriage.

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